Three Mistakes You Can Avoid About Forgiveness.

Most people know that forgiveness is a big deal in the Christian faith. Christ died so that God could justly forgive us, and Christ taught that we should forgive others. However, I've run into a number of wrong ideas about forgiveness that hinder people from fully forgiving others. These clarifications aren't original with me, but I thought I would pass them along.

First, forgiveness doesn't mean that we minimize or excuse sin. Some people's sins against us are relatively minor, but some are horrendous. Some sins are so horrible, they deserve an extreme punishment in the civil justice system. Forgiving in no way requires us to excuse sins, or diminish their badness, or say, "Don't worry, it was no big deal." It may indeed have been a big deal. But you don't need to convince yourself that a sin was "no big deal" as part of forgiving.  

Second, forgiveness doesn't mean that you won't experience upset feelings when you think about an evil incident or incidents. There are some very unrealistic Christians who think that forgiveness somehow erases bad feelings; or, that if you ever experience sad or angry feelings when you remember an evil incident, that you haven't "really" forgiven. None of that is true. 

While it is true that God will bring peace and healing of soul, sin always remains ugly. God is grieved and repulsed by sin by its very nature. He doesn't regard sin with cold, stoic indifference. Forgiveness is a decision of the will that we make by faith. it isn't an emotion. God designed forgiveness to bring relief, but lingering sadness and anger may still need to be processed with the Lord's help.

Third, personal forgiveness doesn't mean that you can't pray for justice. If a wrong-doer will not repent, God will mete out punishment. The apostle Paul once wrote, "Alexander the coppersmith did great harm to me. The Lord will repay him for what he has done" (2 Timothy 4:14). So Paul found confidence in trusting God for justice. The martyred souls in Heaven cry out for repayment for the shedding of their innocent blood (Revelation 6:9-10). 

Repentance is preferable over punishment, as we learn from Jesus' story about the prodigal son. But God is still a God of justice. Part of forgiveness is turning punishment entirely over to Him. God promises us that vengeance is His domain, and he will repay (Romans 12:19). When we forgive, we are willingly giving up our commitment to punishing, and handing that over to the Lord.   

Forgiveness does not involve convincing ourselves that the sins were not really sinful, or never experiencing painful emotions about those sins, or giving up on the hope of justice from God. Forgiveness is when we, in a spirit of faith, turn the punishing over to the Lord, and take our name off the bill the other person owes us. Then we are free to treat them kindly, because we know the Lord accepts full responsibility for balancing the scales of justice for us, in His time.